This is not a pipe/The Cobblers’ tale

First I’ll make a protestation
That I am drunk – I know it by my tongue.
And therefore, if that I misspeak or say,
Blame then the ale of pear, I pray.
For I will tell a legend from the life,
Both of apprentices and Jobs

here begins the Cobblers’ tale
Once upon a time, there at New England
Two apprentices, dwelling for four years
They were called Jacob and Israel
And for their crafts were cobblers.
They learned the crafts, and their fancy
were to set on working with Jobs
Who inherits the forbidden fruit
Jobs sets a mission for two man
named “pipe”quoth the Jobs from Eden

The apprentice named Jacob
he was old and Skilled in
secret leather technique,
looks clever and discreet

The apprentice named Israel
She was younger and wilder
and yet, she looks just like Jacob
her learning was crude

Jacob finished his pipe, so as Israel
hung them on the wall side by side
waiting for Jobs come

That day, Jobs come down with fruit
Up he standing in front two pipes,
Rocking back and forth his brain
First he coughed then he knocked
And then give the fruit to the Jacob
took Israel back with him to the Eden
And everybody laughed at Jobs choice.
Just like you (point and stare to the camera)

God save us all, and this tale is done!